The first gift this year saw us giving support to women in need and while I loved the idea, to be really honest I felt a little deflated afterwards. I felt that vacuum that gets left when you "donate" to a cause and then get the thank you email but get that nagging feeling that the office just carried on for the day. It's that charity fatigue that we all feel. Or maybe that's just me?
But it made me think. This whole idea was started because I was tired of giving and not feeling connected to the cause. And I NEED to feel that. It's not enough for me to be just a donation in a sea of others while the charity jumps through red tape and galas and legislation. I even looked into making this an actual charity and you know what? There are actual rules about what you can spend money on. There are SO many rules, and I get that, I do, but my feeling is that I am a grown up and I don't want to be told who I can help. I also get that people are just handing over their money to me and trusting that I don't go blow it all on shoes, (that will never happen, it would plants if anything). And hey I could be making this all up, but then I'm not sure most of our money goes where "they" say it goes...
My point being I made a choice, if it's just us... (nearly 50) for ever, but WE get to choose, then I'm happy with that. I don't need to grow, I just need to be authentic. I don't want a board of trustees or a CEO or annual meetings or any of that. I want to be able to buy a pack of underwear and a toothbrush and leave if for someone who might need it. Because it might be that homeless lady on the bench outside - or it could be the CEO on her way home who gets short, or a mum who forgot to bring a nappy and can't face using her skirt or beach towel if she doesn't have to. This was just for anyone, and no one is going to tell me that I can't do that.
I have felt so utterly helpless this past week, watching another school shooting in total numb disbelief, the extinction of an animal my child will never see, and countless other horrendous things, but you know what? Sitting in my car packing this box filled with half of my bathroom cupboard and the bought extras just made my day. It made me KNOW that we were going to change a life, even in a small way, even if it was just reminding people that there was still good out there. Because there is, And you guys prove that to me.
Thank you. x (This was February's donation - I still have a few days left to do March... I may be late guys but we do it well!